Rats Restaurant at Grounds for Sculpture in Hamilton Township, NJ: The Wedding of Misha and Benjamin
Misha and Benjamin’s wedding was so incredible. They conducted the ceremony themselves, and it was so intimate and powerful. It was truly an honor to be there and witness it. We lucked out with the weather and got to have some fun on the amazing property at Grounds for Sculpture. What a beautiful day we all had! If you’re looking for a New Jersey based wedding photographer, click the button below and say hi!
How did you and your partner meet?
Ben: Online! It was my first time online dating, and Misha was the first person I met.
Misha: What nerd notes political philosophy as one of their interests, and what other nerd actually finds that intriguing? He did, and I do (facepalm). I was a reluctant and infrequent online dater, so it was unusual that I messaged first. But he seemed friendly, responsive, and genuine over chat, and by the end of the second date I started to notice something special about him.
When did you first know he / she was "the one?"
Ben: We went on a trip to Ireland after only 6 months, and I remember wondering how it would go beforehand, since it was still early on in our relationship. It was an amazing trip and I think we learned how compatible we are together. We went on a 10-week trip in Southeast Asia after about a year and that's when I knew for sure. We only spent at most an hour apart that whole time. We even talked about buying a house in Laos.
Misha: On the dance floor at a friend's wedding in Maine, around 10 months after our first date, I told Ben that I was certain about us. I also told him that there was no rush and that he should take all the time he needed, but that I was confident he'd get there, too.
How did he / she propose?
Misha: At twilight, overlooking Lower Manhattan and the Brooklyn Bridge, at the height of pandemic speculation and uncertainty. Instead of pulling out our books to read on the park bench, as we often do, Ben handed me a leather-bound photo book. I knew he was about to propose, so I went very slowly through each page trying to be present, breathe, and soak in all the memories that had brought us to this point. I had been convinced he wouldn't be able to surprise me, that I'd sniff out a proposal but, impressively, he pulled it off - which is why i was bespectacled, greasy-haired, dressed for the gym, and sobbing as he got down on one knee to ask me to marry him :)
What are you most looking forward to?
Ben: For COVID-19 to be over so we can celebrate properly with friends and family!
Why did you choose the ceremony and reception locations?
Ben: We were looking for some place outdoors that could also accommodate providing food and drinks afterward. Our ceremony will be short, so we wanted to make sure we also had a place close by where we could enjoy some time with our family.
Misha: I had been to Rat's and Grounds for Sculpture a few times and absolutely loved the feel of the Monet garden. The venue is a bit small for the original wedding we had in mind but, for our micro-wedding, it's perfect.
How would you describe your reception theme?
Misha: We don't really have one. My one ask was for our ceremony to be outdoors & somewhere beautiful. It was most important to us to exchange meaningful vows, to have our family present to witness and celebrate with us, and for everyone to have a safe and enjoyable time. It's lovely to be able to have our intimate ceremony in the herb garden (a first at Rat's), and to overlook the pond during dinner.
What was your favorite part of the planning process?
Ben: Writing the vows together was the hardest part, but also the most rewarding. It took some time but is one of the most special parts of the ceremony. It is also part of a wedding certificate we had custom created. It'll be signed by our family and framed so we'll never forget the vows or the moment.
What is the first dance song? Father/daughter or mother/son dance?
Misha: The Way You Look Tonight by Tony Bennett -- it's been a favorite ever since I watched My Best Friend's Wedding as a girl.
What were your vows like?
Ben: Perfect.
Misha: We wrote a single set of vows for us to both exchange. They took a lot of effort to finalize but it was ultimately a process that was driven by our values, reinforced why we're together, and helped us more deeply align on our view of our marriage. Co-writing and exchanging our own vows was arguably the best part of the entire wedding.
What was your favorite thing about your wedding ceremony?
Misha & Ben: Exchanging vows.
Misha: I had been pretty anxious with all the preparations and issues (including a small fire at my parents' house!) leading up to our wedding day. As soon as I turned the corner to walk into the garden towards Ben, though, we locked eyes and, incredibly, everything else - the pandemic, the election, the long list of unfinished to-do's, the schedule delays, the spot of mehndi on one of my nails that I'd been obsessing over - stopped mattering. In that moment, we were wholly connected and I could feel the gravity of the commitment we were making. I'm certain the presence and connection we brought to that moment will be a touchstone for our marriage for the rest of our lives.
Describe your ceremony in three words:
Ben: mini, unique, special.
Misha: intimate & values-driven.
What is your ceremony music?
Misha: A cover of John Legend's All of Me by Anna McLuckie, a harpist who played at the Sofar Sounds concert we went to on our first date. I reached out to her as a surprise for Ben, and was floored when she agreed to do it! It was so lovely to commence the ceremony with that song.
Who is your officiant? How did you choose him/her?
Ben: We are doing a self-uniting ceremony. Technically we'll get married by the Mayor of Hamilton, but the true ceremony will be at the Grounds for Sculpture later that day. We are writing it all ourselves!
What are your ceremony readings?
Ben: I chose "i carry your heart" by e.e.cummings, which my sister, Amy, will read.
Misha: I chose "Union" by Robert Fulgham, for my brother Neil to read.
What was your favorite moment or part of the reception?
Ben: Misha's brother emceed a newly wed type of game and that was fun. Being in pods and socially distant made casual conversation difficult but this was an inclusive and fun way to interact.
Misha: Our first dance! Ben doesn't dance often, so it was really special for us to dance together at our reception.
What food are you most looking forward to on the wedding reception menu?
Ben: Our specialty cocktails!
What was your favorite moment from the day?
Misha: There were so many! Our vows of course, but also so many smaller moments. Stopping for a prayer together before we left the house that morning, FaceTiming with a close friend while getting ready, Ben's mom waving through the window, the group effort to get me dressed and out the door for pictures because we were so behind schedule (my mom tugged my tights off, my dad got my shoes on, and Ben's sister buttoned the blouse as I ran out the door!), bumping hips with Ben as hard as I could (for pictures but also to make him laugh), twirling during our first dance, when my dad came over to hug me after his speech, cracking jokes and exchanging stories during the newlyweds game, the lovely and personal gifts our families exchanged with one another, my brother being super nice to me all day / taking care of all the logistics as my day-of coordinator... It was a perfectly imperfect day :)
What was the best advice you were given?
Ben: Take it all in and be present in the moment because it will go fast.
Misha: Take 5 deep breaths every hour, go for as many real and supportive 20-second hugs with loved ones as you (safely) can and, do your best to stop and really feel the moment a few times during the day.